“While I was dealing with housework and kids, my husband was seeing another woman...”

I educated hundreds of children and I retired last year. My husband and I worked hard to raise our two sons and now they are engineers and happily married. I was dreaming about retirement for years but after years of working, when I started living a quiet life at home I felt like a fish out of water. During those days when I started to question my life, I found out that my husband had had a relationship with another woman for a little while.

 

His relationship had continued for a while and ended.  Even though I knew that marriages become monotony in time and there are no longer excitements like the first times, I started thinking that it was an escape. He cheated. While I was helping my sons’ homework at night, taking care of our house all the time without thinking about myself and after five years, finding out that my husband went to another woman and so finding out the real reason why he was coming home late was a huge devastation for me.

 

I saw my husband after a month. One night, after dinner while having our teas, I told him that I knew about that woman. He didn’t deny. He didn’t blame me or himself. “It was a mistake and I am sorry that you’ve heard.” He explained me that he loved me and he didn’t give up on me even when he was with that woman and he told me that he made a huge mistake. I just listened. Did I want to throw my 30 years, get divorced and start a whole new like? I didn’t even want to ask him “why?”

 

I was emotionally devastated. As I learned from the books I’ve read, almost all cheated women have experienced the same process. I couldn’t decide how to answer, should I stay or should I go?

 

I preferred to be confident about the life and future. I am an orderly, tidy, planned and programmed woman who does not like surprises and maybe a little control freak. Maybe this dull life made my husband turn to other women. Now I don’t blame that woman and my husband, I was in a forgiving manner. The same house, same couch, same clothes, same neighborhood, same food for years. I didn’t take care of myself and didn’t allow my family and particularly children for a change. I was the one who caused that monotony. Of course none of these is a reason for my husband to turn to other women but I think I played a part.

 

He used to say things like “change your hair color” or “let’s buy you some new clothes”, “you look tired, put a little make up on”, “let’s take the boys to my parents and go to Ağva for the weekend ( a local tourist attraction in a district of  İstanbul)”... I remembered him saying many things like that and me coming up with a different excuse each time. When you stop taking care of yourself, you start going round in circles. I repeated myself all the time and I made up excuses like “difficulties of being a working woman”.

 

Two months ago, on my 52nd birthday, I made new decisions. I wanted to make the first change on myself. If I treasure myself, I will be more beneficial for the people around me. As a habit or because of long years together, I love my husband. During all this chaos, I decided to take care of myself. I started exercising, I met new people. I dyed my hair red, as my husband wish. I wanted to spare some of my pension for more radical precautions in my life. Mr. Bülent said that I had a form loss on my face, a double chin and my cheekbones were not visible. He showed me how my face was going to look like and gave me details about fat transplant and the Spider Web Method.

 

I watched and read everything on this subject. It is not easy to jump to these big decisions. And I finally made my decision.  In a couple days, some applications were performed on my face under general anesthesia. Since I was middle aged, Mr. Bülent told me that the best way was fat injection with the Spider Web Method and I trusted him. I went to the surgery in a good mood and I woke up with a great comeback. Now, I welcome a new life.

 



Name :

H.K.

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